It's been a tough two months. My sleeping pattern has improved -- six plus hours a day verses my old habit of sleeping an hour to make sure I had some rest. I'm exercising too -- mostly cardio to improve my overall health -- and that's helping a lot on the whole sleeping business (i.e. I drop dead with exhaustion).

However, I'm still wary about the idea of re-posting and resuming ADP. Because destructive life habits is not the main concern. The dilemma is a moral one. I am convinced publishing "derivative works" that misrepresent the original is an affront both to the author and the work itself. It's common courtesy -- I wouldn't want someone to publish something that deliberately misrepresents my work, be it fanwork or parody (I do not like parody because I find almost all forms of mockery very distasteful).

When I started plotting out ADP two years ago, my motive was mostly "what if". But by the summer of 2007, my motives were: "I don't like certain aspects of canon, nor the direction the canon is going, so I'm going to fix it." The seeds of misrepresentation was there. I became aware of my hidden motive while I was thinking up a plot for a different Anime title. After much hemming and hawing, and a lot of rationalization that didn't convince me a whit, I put the breaks.

While I can only apologize to Kishimoto Masashi sensei for what I have done via blog post ("I'm so sorry!!"), there is much I have to do if I am to ever resume ADP, let alone fanwork publishing. It's not going to be easy. First of all, I have to give up all notion of "fixing" Canon, which is difficult enough. I also have to remove everything that clearly misrepresents the original NARUTO. The latter is going to tricky because there are things even in my original ADP outline that has the ominous ring of "fixing".

Sigh. It would be easier for me if I never published fanworks again, but I don't think that's a good thing either -- for several different reasons. I will let everyone know of any and all updates.

Sincerely,
BoC

Due to reasons that I will not endeavor to illuminate in length, I have decided to put a stop to publishing all forms of fanworks. I want to thank all my readers for putting up with me, and I apologize for the damage I have inflicted upon all readers due to my desire for self-gratification.

In case you are wondering: No, I will not make my old fanworks available on this journal, or distribute copies via email or other means-- it would defeat the purpose of my complete withdrawal. I also would rather you not distribute any copies of my fanworks (though I cannot stop you from doing so).

Sincerely,
BoC